We all have times in our life when we feel inadequate and useless. Even if we have good jobs, manage a household, and successfully raise a family, we still feel like we just don’t quite measure up. We just aren’t as successful as we thought we would be by this point in our lives. We aren’t living in our dream house or earning the amount of money we thought we would be by now. All of those thoughts weigh heavy on our minds and the unfortunate part is that those thoughts prevent us from moving forward and achieving our goals and dreams. Those negative thoughts stop us dead in our tracks. We stop learning and growing. We stop trying anything new because we see ourselves as failures, so why bother trying. If left unattended, we could easily end up discouraged and depressed. Do you feel like you may be one of these people?
Perhaps your self-doubt stems from some negative experiences you had when you were a kid. For example, if people made fun of you when you were a child, you might doubt your abilities even today.
Traumatic experiences can cause a vicious cycle of self-doubt in your mind.
Teachers, parents, and other children can sometimes inadvertently say things that have a powerful impact for both good and bad. The bad messages become ingrained in our subconscious and have a way of killing our self-esteem, even years later. So, how do you turn things around and stop that nagging voice in your head that says you’ll never be good enough?
Here are some tactics to help you erase that doubt and become more confident:
Let Go of Negative Criticism of Yourself
This applies to both past and present. Don’t let a jerk of a boss ruin your day by simply adding his voice to the tape player in your head. Realize that he may be taking his anger out on someone else because of his own inadequacies. People’s negative attitudes speak volumes about them, not about you!
- Stop replaying those negative comments in your head. By agreeing with those who criticize you, you’re giving them all the power.
- Stop paying attention to that voice in your head that’s saying you’re going to fail. If you stop listening, it will get quieter and eventually disappear.
- Reclaim your life by believing that you can and will succeed.
- Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you.
Prepare Yourself and Do Your Best
It’s not enough just to think positively; you have to actively pursue success as well. Visualizing your end goal can help you make the right choices, but no one can do the work except you.
One way to overcome self-doubt is to write down your positive qualities.
Make a list of at least five things you are good at. Every day when you wake up read the list. Reading aloud will also help you to believe the items you’ve listed.
The positive thinking will help prepare your mind to succeed, but there are other ways you can help yourself achieve your goals as well:
Set Reasonable Goals
Decide what you want to do within a set amount of time.
Keep your goals realistic so you can meet them. If you set unrealistic goals that you can’t meet, you’ll quickly become discouraged.
Start out small at first and get bigger with your dreams.
Inactive people easily become depressed. To avoid this unpleasant situation, immerse yourself in achieving your goals. Hard work will always pay off in the end.
Celebrate Your Success
Self-doubters tend to think they don’t deserve to succeed. But you do!
You deserve a reward for conquering your self-doubt and becoming more self confident. You deserve to be honored for your hard work and perseverance.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Just remember you can’t reach the top of a mountain in one giant leap; it takes many steps along the way to reach the peak in due time. The same is true of success and achieving your goals.
Taking baby steps and achieving many small successes will bring you the confidence to reach your dreams. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the journey to becoming the self-assured, happy and successful person you know you can be. It’s a wild ride, but its well worth it in the end.